yes I was very busy tonight. I think normal people will get bored reading on about the boring day to day stuff that moms deal with but after writing it I think it works because it sets up what kind of home life Amy has and how she dreams of something different.
Amy’s little alarm clock went off promptly at 7am, which coincidentally was when the sun came up that morning. Amy hadn’t need an electronic clock in years. She had four loud persistent ones that kept remarkable time. She bunched the comforter over her ears, trying to block Holly’s screaming. Then she felt an elbow in her side. She wished it away. I want to sleep, she screamed in her head. The elbow again, harder. No, I won’t! Then he was shaking her.
“What,” she said, almost screaming. She opened one eye and looked over at Daryl. She felt tears filling in the corners to combat the burning sensation.
“The baby’s crying,” he said, stretching out.
“So?”
Daryl looked over at her, confusion on his face. “She probably needs a change.”
“I bet she does.” Amy rolled over making it clear she wasn’t getting up yet.
“Well I’m not changing her. I worked a double yesterday. I’m tired.”
Amy sat up straight in the bed, glaring at her husband. “And you went to bed at eight last night. You had eleven hours of sleep. I just went to bed two hours ago.”
“It’s not my fault you stay up all hours watching CSI.”
Amy felt anger filling her as the initial exhaustion lifted. “I wasn’t watching CSI. The kids were sick.”
“Oh,” was all he said. He stretched again and got up.
Amy felt the muscles in the back of her neck tensing already. What a great way to start the day, she thought. She rearranged her comforter and pillows, then snuggled back into them. She heard the boys running down the hall screaming about which cartoon they were going to watch first. Then Austin stood right outside her bedroom door yelling about not wanting Cheerios for breakfast. Amy pulled the pillow over her ears. She wanted to scream. Scream at the top of her lungs for everyone to shut the hell up. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. In the background she could still hear Holly crying.
She closed her eyes, squeezing them tight, forcing them to make tears to cool the dry burning she felt. She drifted off to sleep seconds later. The world where she was free to do as she pleased faded in and out before her. She was walking along a sunny path. Sitting on the porch, watching squirrels chase each other. She wasn’t wiping noses or changing diapers. Suddenly it was gone and her eyes were open again. She stared at the clock near the bed--7:10. Holly was still crying.
Amy sighed and gritted her teeth. He was probably just in the bathroom. Everyone needs time to wake up in the morning. She threw her arm over her eyes and instantly fell back asleep. No bottles, no tiny socks, no dirty underwear with Barbie or Spongebob or various Disney characters on them. There was quiet and calm. There was Holly still screaming. Amy threw opened one eye enough to see the clock--7:15. What the hell, she thought. The whipped the covers off and clumsily got out of bed, tripping on her own slippers and getting tangled in the sheets.
The door slammed against the wall when she yanked it open. Connor and Austin had been playing in the hall and jumped when Amy came out. They both looked equally guilty but Amy wasn’t in the mood at the moment. She stomped down the hall to the girls’ room. Carys rubbed her eyes and stared blankly at Amy. Holly stood in her crib, face red and swollen. Her cheeks were soaked with tears and her little eyes were blood shot and bulging. She smiled as soon as she saw Amy.
“Come here, sweetie,” Amy whispered to her. She changed Holly on the bedroom floor and put her in clean dry clothes. Holly seemed relieved and grateful. Even more so when Amy made her a bottle in the kitchen. She carried Holly and the bottle into the living room to find Daryl sprawled out on the sofa, flipping through the channels on the TV.
Amy stood there staring in disbelief.
“Mommy, I’m hungry,” Connor said, pulling on her shirt. She set the baby down and handed her the bottle. The urge to scream came back full force but somehow Amy held it in. She made breakfast for the kids then sat at the kitchen table staring out the window at nothing. She never knew you could sleep with both eyes open before that.
12 Ranted.